Welcome! It’s unbelievable to think that my first semester in college has come to a close. I remember applying to this school, and having no idea whether I stood a chance of getting in. Here I am, 12 months later, writing an end-of-semester reflection for one of the most thought-provoking classes I have ever taken. I learned a lot of valuable things about myself and my writing over these past 4 months, and I look forward to sharing myself with you. 

This semester was a bit of a struggle for me, as I assume it is for most college freshmen. I think that the biggest struggle for me was forgetting everything I knew about high school class structure, especially English. Don’t get me wrong, this was the first time I could voice my opinion and not hold back. I didn’t have to worry about offended others, and it was relieving to be surrounded by individuals who share my pain. However, I had trouble relearning what I knew about writing. I realize how babied we were in the past. Everything was laid out for us, and there was a specific way we were supposed to write. There wasn’t that much room for creative freedom, and there was always a rubric for EVERYTHING. It was sort of a surprise not to see a grading rubric for every paper we did. The ambiguity in what exactly we were supposed to write about may have been frustrating at times, but it taught me independence and creative expression. 

Besides the structure of the class, I struggled with the structure of the essays themselves. I was so used to writing compare and contrast essays since elementary school that I didn’t know how to write a lens essay. My lens essay turned out to be a straight comparison of my lens text and target text. I’m currently still struggling a bit with grasping the difference between lens and comparison essays, but I’m learning. So many things from primary and secondary school are deeply rooted in us as students, and it continued to challenge us on a daily basis. I remember being told that essays consisted of “claim, evidence, reasoning, evidence, reasoning,” but I now know that there is so much more than that in an essay. This was the first time I learned how to write with purpose. I had to analyze artifacts and texts in ways that were deeper than I ever had before. Sometimes, it felt as if I was drawing connections that barely seemed to be there. I know that I felt uncomfortable with being so vulnerable and clueless with what to do sometimes. But in the end, I think I got the hang of it. I remember my professor commenting on how much my writing has grown from the first Outsider Narrative to the final research paper. I said that my research paper gave me a new perspective on a lot of things, and I meant it. I found out how my passion for specific topics is reflected in my writing. I found out that I have the ability not to let this passion overtake facts in my writing. I found out that I can reshape my own narrative, and the way I live my life, through words.

I want to say that I’m proud of myself for being able to be proud of myself. It’s not something I was able to do in the past, and I’m still down on myself for a lot of things. Narrative Medicine taught me to appreciate the joy in the little things, and appreciate myself. I want to share something I wrote in my Outsider Essay at the beginning of the year. It goes: “I previously shared in Narrative Medicine over the summer that going by the name ‘GG’ has allowed me to reclaim my identity and heal from my past, which it has. In being able to finally start healing and addressing my own mental health issues, life has never been better for me…I don’t know if my story is going to make whoever is reading this feel something, but I hope it allows you to change your perspective on the complex oddities that are humans.” I think a huge shift for me in this class was the fact that because my audience experienced some of my struggles, I didn’t necessarily have to change the tone of my personal essays. I could be as blunt as I wanted to and still receive positive, supportive feedback from my peers. 

I want to end this reflection with a statement from the end of my final research paper reflection. I want this to be something that you as a reader do not fail to remember. “One thing we’ve learned in Narrative Medicine is that we need to listen to our patients as doctors. We need to believe their stories and try to grasp their pain. We don’t tell them to make things convenient for us as doctors, we try to make things as best as possible for our patients. If anything, this is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in this class…As a future Black physician, I would want my patients to know that their pain is valid. Their pain is seen. Their pain is heard. That’s why my research is so important. That’s why people like me are going to help change the world, one hopeful Black girl at a time.” The advice I have for future students is this: stop trying to conform to a structure. If we did so, we wouldn’t have the CUNY School of Medicine that aspires to serve underprivileged communities by introducing doctors of color. Your writing is a reflection of who you are, and it’s okay not to know what to do sometimes. The beauty in this class is the ability to revise. You always have an opportunity to improve your writing and yourself. Don’t look for someone to tell you exactly what to do, instead try to do things your way and take the advice of your professors and your peers. 

I hope that in looking through my portfolio, you are able to see my maturity as both a student and person. My first semester of college may be ending, but my narrative has only just begun.